To Cry or Not to Cry: Wedding edition

I've been asked this question more and more as my wedding date gets closer.

"Do you think you will cry when you get married?"

Yes to the Dress!

I got my wedding dress guys! It's beautiful AND white ;) The funniest and best part of my fitting, was that my gown fits me like a glove. I literally can't gain or lose a pound or else I'd have to pay for alterations. I was so nervous about my gown only because I ordered it online without seeing it in person. I like the style and ordered it in good faith. Viva my wedding day. I'm about to stunt on hoes. Not really.

50 days!

-Toodles

It's My Wedding and I can cry if I want to....

This is me but a little bit chubbier

I'm the most chill person on a normal day. I like long walks in the park, vanilla ice cream, all that simple shit. But oh does wedding planning bring out the beast in a person. Right now my wedding support system consist of 3 people. Right, just 3. But Tierra, aren't your bridesmaids helping? No. Next question...

Every suggestion I give is met with resistance. I'm not asking for a lot compared to other brides I hear about.  I'm not choosing wedding hair or shoe, I'm as laid back as a fat cat. Maybe that's the problem, I dunno.

How is Officer handling all the wedding planning? Hmmm, like a boss. His groomsmen are yes men. He text them their needs and they do it. No questions, just yup as replies. Being a man is easy.

*Kat Stacks voice* Anyway doe....

Free Kat Stacks! If you don't know, now you know, Google her.

Honeymoon is paid, sending a check tomorrow for the photographer. \o/  That's two things I can wipe my hands of. From this day forth I will ignore any advice/opinion/concern that steps to mine.

I'm the Bride BITCH!

-Toodles

Way down in the hole...

Blah.

I was doing so good working out until I stopped working out. o_O I decided not to do P90x because I can't find all the equipment I need for it. I ordered Insanity and it's sitting on the corner waiting to be used. I was down 6 pounds as of yesterday but I'm sure I gained some back from the pigging out I did today. I need motivation. The wedding for some reason isn't enough :(

Oh. And I'm pretty much unemployed again. Welp.



-Toodles

You wanna see my body? -Weight loss post-

Yesterday I told y'all how I wasn't satisfied with my weight loss over the past two weeks I'm still fat . So I decided to incorporate some more workout in my life. A more intensive workout, P90x!!!

Weekly Wrap Up

I lost some weight. Down 4 lbs in two weeks. I'm not impressed. I could have lost more if I completed more cardio and eliminated some carbs. I now have 397 more pounds to drop before June 17, 2012. It's fastly approaching and I have to get on that good foot.

I know I said something about before pictures... BUT I'll have some soon. I'm starting p90x tomorrow and really want y'all to see some real progress since I intend to go hard. My wedduing dress is form fitting and I want to look right. Which also means no spanx. How uncomfortable will that be after 5+ hours, ugh.


*thinks...*

Um, what's new... Oh, I continue to hate my job. Me makes no money. Me sad. However, I have an interview with an up and coming casino in the banker role Tuesday. I don't know if I want it or not especially since casinos are 365/7. I'd be pissed if I had to work holidays, trust.

And that's that. I haven't been blogging as much as I use to but I've been both busy and/or lazy. Call me out on it ;)



-Toodles

Time to get physical! -Weight loss post-

The wedding of the century is in 3 months, eeeek! Yes, my wedding is fastly approaching. And Officer's superiors are being asswipes. He didn't get our wedding day OR the day after off. Yes I'm pissed and so is he. He's going to take it another step and I'm crossing my fingers and toes that he gets the day approved.

Whew...Enough of that...

I'm fat.

Facts are facts. And I need not to be fat for my wedding. It's in the bride manual, page one. But the kicker is, Officer wants to lose some pounds too. So now I have a get skinny partner, yay! We went grocery shopping together for healthy food Sunday :o) But it's Tuesday and I'm hungry. I'm calorie counting and I think I'm restricting too much? I'm trying to stay at 1100-1150 calories which is not that low. My mind is sending me "get junk food Tierrrrra" vibes.

Later this week I'll post a pic of my booody so I'll have a way to track my weigh loss. I took the battery's out my scale because I have the tendency to weight myself everyday Not good. When the picture (s) go up, no judgment. I'm a bowl of fluff.




-Toodles


P.S. Pray that Officer gets our wedding day off!

Update on wedding stuff

I would have to lose a thousand pounds to look like her *pouts*

I know y'all missed me but not if you follow me on Twitter or Facebook (I run my mouth a lot) ;) I've been helluva busy, spending money, working and going to school. In between all that confusion, I've been doing wedding stuff.

Wedding stuff:
Looking at wedding gowns in boutiques
Getting measured for gowns
Crying at measurements
Purchasing the flower girls dresses
Etc etc

I finally bought THE DRESS yesterday. I'm kinda nervous because I ordered it online without trying it on (!) This automatically sent me into lose 50 pounds now mode. I want to look delicious in my dress especially since it's form fitting.


Sidenote: I found out I have hips this week. Like bare 2 children at the same time hips. 49 inches, huh?!
I still have multiple things I need to complete. Invitations, response cards, find a photographer, yadda yadda ya.

Sponsor me?



-Toodles

I miss you

I miss my mommy.

I lost her June 2009. One month before my youngest was born. I was placed on bedrest right before I received the call that she was found dead. I collapsed after Officer passed me the phone with my sister screaming in my ear. Everything was a blur, going to retrieve her belongings from her house, falling on her bed crying, complete and utter confusion.

Name that feeling!

1. I feel _______ that I'm not receiving any real help (besides my SIL) for my wedding.

 2. I'm ________ that my wedding is only 5 months away!

3. I feel__________ about the money that this wedding will cost.

-Toodles

Sitting up in my room...

There's something about the holidays that tends to trigger feelings you have of distance and/or family members that passed on. I'm getting hit double with all the wedding planning I'm doing. If you didn't know, I wasn't raised by my biological family. In fact I never "lived" with them. My parents were 19 when they had me and 21 when they had my sister. They were young, dumb and ....... living in Baltimore. They tried by their own accounts to set up house but for whatever reasons it didn't stand. I don't fault them, blame them, or hate them at all. My experiences growing up, good or bad, made makes me the person I am today.

Even though I wasn't one of the Cosbys, I didn't go to Hilman *Kanye stance* I remember some things about my parents as a child.

Jobs interviews are pouring in. I got a call today while I was driving back from trying on wedding dresses Yay! Double yay! I totally want to throw my two week notice in my district manager's face at this point but nah I need to chill.

Wedding Dress update: Everything was cool. A couple of bumps at the beginning of the consultation however. I registered and saved a couple of my favorite dresses online for Generic Bridal Company to have for me to try on for my appointment.

Did that happen? Nope. Apparently all the dresses I liked and saved were discontinued or online only. My dresses were also under $300. All the wedding dresses that were pulled for me I didn't like except a silk form fitting number that was definitely the silhouette I was going for. Even though I wasn't able to try on the dresses I wanted to, the consultation did help me find out my dress size. So some good did come from it.

I also spend time with sisters and sister in law. Can you say estrogen?



-Toodles

A shortie

Heard word back from the job I interviewed with way back when. My background came back Of course clear and I just have to wait for a scheduled ride a long. A mini day in the life so I can get a feel for the position. I can't wait to tell this 10-7 job to shove it. *devil horns*


Tomorrow I go to try on wedding dresses and do some planning at the venue. Six months to go and I need to buckle down. I'm thinking about changing photographers and meet with my original choice Tuesday. I'm doing semi big things :-) I have one more hour left at work and I'm praying that God speeds it up. My body aches for my bed. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.... Oh so weak. 




 -Toodles

No justice, no peace!

Ayyye! I missed you! Not you, you *points* Work is... bogus. I had to be nice/nasty to my new DM Thursday because I'm not feeling this 10-7 schedule at all. And I discovered that I'm working over time hours and my coworker is working only 3 days a week, huh? Yeah, that definitely doesn't work in the land of Tierraville. My new DM didn't even know I was a new hire :/ But he promises he has hired another employee so my schedule should be crazy anymore... in 2-3 weeks. *face falls* I'm not understanding why their hiring process takes sooooo long BUT I hope I'm on the bus to happy town when the person finally comes into the store. I'll hear from the company I interview for soon because they want to get everyone working by Dec. 30. I've had my hands crossed since Tuesday Day of the interview I want to grow up and get a real job *snaps*

Wedding news.... I sent out all my Save the Dates two weeks ago with a couple being mailed here and there because of people finally sending addresses. I hope to have ordered my dress by the end of this month/early January. Ooop, I forgot. One of my twitter friends boyfriend is a dj and he might perform at my wedding. Hopefully at a reasonable price. I meet with him Sunday to hear some of his mixes etc.

And that's all for now folks. Filling out job applications and working 10-7. Hooray! -_-




-Toodles

I desire a kiss like this....

I Do-n't!

Can't you tell that they are both are virgins?

-Toodles

Wedding Blues

Ugh. That's the only word I can think of to use for my emotions right now. I'm finally getting some kind of handle on my wedding. It took forever but I finally found a photographer that will give me the rights to my pictures (image that) and had a decent rate. I also found bridesmaid dresses. It wasn't as simple as that sentence but I'm too exhausted for anymore of an explanation. Currently I'm writing up my songlist. I had one previously but that disappeared when my lap top died.

I'm sort of overwhelmed but I'll manage. I'm trying to get the little things done before I start back to work and really get swamped.


Ugh.



-Toodles

Wedding sponsorships/ grants

When I started writing this blog, I mentioned how I was planning my wedding *awkward silence* Well... I dunno now. My unemployment has made my potential wedding, a non mf-ing factor *sigh*

I sit everyday thinking about how I can get the money to pay the deposit for this wedding (besides a job, smart ass). Oh how I wish I was Star Jones! <--not really, but she had her whole wedding sponsored. Or even better, Kim Kardashian. I mean, how in the hell do YOU get PAID to get married. Where they do dat at?

I remember seeing something on tv awhile back where some inner city (can't recall it, and don't feel like researching) paid for long term common law husbands/wives to get married. If only MD had something similar. We just need help with the initial deposit and we plan on paying the rest of the money off with our taxes.

Any way doe, Target, Macy's, Payless, Bed Bath and Beyond, if any of you companies (or all) would like to sponsor my wedding, comment! Lol. Any company can actually. At this point, if Raid sponsored, I'd give everyone traveling sized cans. I swear during my wedding I'd have your company name across my veil, I'll sing your company name doing my reception speech and have your dresses/shoes worn by myself and bridesmaids.

Real talk.

Toodles

"These are just my thoughts people, just what I was feeling at the time..."

How is it possible to be lonely living in a house fill of people? It's crazy to feel a certain way one day and the next.... I think my long drought of unemployment is stealing all my joy. I've never have felt so useless *shrugs* And when people tell me, Oh you'll get a job, I just want to give them the rundown of all the job applications I fill out daily. All the emails I receive stating the position has been filled or you don't fit the qualifications etc.

It's demeaning. I don't even think the wedding is happening next year. We don't have any extra money to even funnel into it right now. The worst part about that is telling my girls.

Depressed.


-Toodles

Optimistic ---> Disappointed ---> Hopeless

Hey. I'm feeling kinda emo today. Yesterday the effect of putting off bills has hit me hard. First my phone service was suspended then cable & internet. I had to make a choice on which was more important and I chose to lay my pennies at Comcast's feet. Not because of my love for television but because job searching via internet is a must. We have 2 prepaid cell phones in the house so I'm not without service completely. I went online today and edited my phone number on my resume and other profiles.

This has been the longest I've voluntarily went without a job. It's now been 4 months and counting.  I was always the kind of person who stumbled into jobs and started working within a couple of days. But now the economy is in the s-t hole, I'm competing with more than overqualified people for entry level positions. *sigh*

With Officer shouldering ALL the bills, it looks like our wedding has been put on the permanent back burner. Of course I'm devastated. Officer's overtime should be going to our wedding deposit :o/ Our deposit is 2k and we've already put out decent amount towards it. I hate to see that money go to waste.

*Otis scream* <----from JayZ & Kanye song, Otis






-Toodles

*waves meekly* Hey?

Um, I really don't know how to start this. Which is weird because I always have something to say. First I'll start with I'm a 27 (!!!) year old mother of 3 (hooray!). And I've been with my baby father, best friend, provider, and fiance' for 10 years. Before you ask, yes I play Beyonce's "Singles Ladies" to him on the weekends. But really, the date has been set and we're on the course to matrimony next June. So you'll hear about my wedding planning too.

Kids, relationships, wedding planning, Baltimore (yeah I live here), animals *pets my dog MJ*, my Ravens (love football) and yadda yadda yadda. If you found this blog stick around, I'm always a good time ;o)


Toodles!