Sitting up in my room...

There's something about the holidays that tends to trigger feelings you have of distance and/or family members that passed on. I'm getting hit double with all the wedding planning I'm doing. If you didn't know, I wasn't raised by my biological family. In fact I never "lived" with them. My parents were 19 when they had me and 21 when they had my sister. They were young, dumb and ....... living in Baltimore. They tried by their own accounts to set up house but for whatever reasons it didn't stand. I don't fault them, blame them, or hate them at all. My experiences growing up, good or bad, made makes me the person I am today.

Even though I wasn't one of the Cosbys, I didn't go to Hilman *Kanye stance* I remember some things about my parents as a child.



I remember... taking a cold bath because it was hot one summer. And noticing my mom had a tattoo on her butt.

I remember... flushing an apple don't the toilet so my father, a plumber, could come see me.

I remember... my father dropping off two matching sweat suits for my sister and I.

Those little flashes of my childhood memory is all I have of my parents. I reunited with them when I was 22 but lost both by the time I was 25. I have new adult memories that I replay whenever I mourn them but now I have my own children who will now have their own scattered memories.

If you're feeling sad for me don't. My daughters' fill in all the voids I have in my life. And the rest of my family help too. It's just now, sitting, writing up my wedding guest list and not writing down, Mom & Dad hurts.

A lot.

I have my memories though :)



-Toodles