.... Tricks are for kids

I've been forced to play the adult version of the quiet game for the past 4 days. I don't wanna play anymore. I'm tired of walking on egg shells but the ball isn't in my court. *sulks*




Someone tag me out.






-Toodles

Hate, hate, HATE!

During my daily job search I come across the same phrases over and over again to the point that I despite them! Here they are in no particular order of hatred...


Must have (10+) years of experience.


Must have Bachelor's Degree (Grrr!)


Must know medical terminology.


Must be able to travel 20% of the time.


Must have open and flexible availability. <<the dagger in my heart.

-Toodles

RIP___________

Even though I've never owned I-anything, I was in shock and awe at Steve Jobs passing yesterday. I knew throughout the years he battled life threatening illnesses and had received a liver. When he stepped down in August, many people speculated about Jobs' health. And then TMZ posted a picture of him two days after his resignation and I couldn't believe how fragile he was. Money can't buy health or happiness. This is definitely a reminder for me to appreciate everything in life that GOD afforded me. RIP Steve Jobs.

By one of my favorite comics, Ben Claassen, www.bendependent.com

-Toodles

Makes you go, Huh?

1. Puffy Puff P Diddy Sean Combs made a stink at an Atlanta night club about another man's drink. Apparently since Ciroc pays Puffy b.i.g. I made a funny lol money for promoting, he thinks we should give a damn. *sips water* But T.I. came to the rescue and shut Puffy up, real talk.


2. Baltimore law makers, I know texting and driving is a BIG distraction and has led to accidents and deaths but now we can't read text messages at the traffic light? I dunno get it. 

Sooooo unattractive to me now, meh

3. I love when idiots reveal themselves. Apparently Isiah Mustafa, the Old Spice "On a horse Guy" only wants to date women with "good hair." 
"Yes, it does have to be real hair. I want my kids to have nice hair so she better have good hair. Cause, I don’t know if you’ve checked my hair out lately. Aside from today it’s normally nice. Today it’s slightly nappy,” Mustafa said. <----Ignorant negro Of course he apologized on twitter so we're suppose to forget and play nice, riiiight.

I refuse to remember you like your last picture, on a gurney. RIP

4. Are y'all following the Michael Jackson trial? *sigh* I believe Dr. Murray was negligent for not giving proper supervision to MJ when he was sedated. However Michael Jackson was an addict. If Murray would have said no, some other doctor would have said yes. And some drs have according to prescriptions found at the scene.


-Toodles

"These are just my thoughts people, just what I was feeling at the time..."

How is it possible to be lonely living in a house fill of people? It's crazy to feel a certain way one day and the next.... I think my long drought of unemployment is stealing all my joy. I've never have felt so useless *shrugs* And when people tell me, Oh you'll get a job, I just want to give them the rundown of all the job applications I fill out daily. All the emails I receive stating the position has been filled or you don't fit the qualifications etc.

It's demeaning. I don't even think the wedding is happening next year. We don't have any extra money to even funnel into it right now. The worst part about that is telling my girls.

Depressed.


-Toodles

Billie Holiday

I love her. I don't know when I became fascinated with Billie Holiday. I do know it was before I even heard one note of her music. Billie's life mirrored both my biological mother and grandmother to a t. And because I know so little about them, I think I absorb everything there is to know about Lady Day.

Having lived in Baltimore, was involved in a life of prostitution, battled drug abuse and lost, these life challenges attracted me to Billie Holiday. Disregarding the singing, this was my mother's life :( And through Billie, I connect to my mother. I get to understand my mother even through I wasn't able to her my mother those deep questions before she passed away.

Billie Holiday's voice is so haunting. You felt all her pain and it swallows you up...

And I love her for that. 

One of Billie's lyrics tattooed on my leg :) 

So...

my personal life is in shambles. I messed up.





-Toodles