Oh.

I'm alive.

What are emotions?

My feelings are all out of wack y'all. Things that would break down any sane person, I react to with a mere, meh. I don't know if I'm up to my limit in fucks given, but my blood pressure hasn't risen once in response to all the stunts going on around me. I'm not bragging about my lack of emotions, in fact I'm nervous. I joke all the time about being evil, am I turning into a super villain? Often I found myself sitting and plotting. Thinking long term about vengeance that I think is due to me. Dramatic much? Yes, yes and yes.

But I wonder also if my calmness about everything that's happening is simply my spirit at peace. What if my whole being decided to stop fighting and accept the outcomes. I would like to think that's it.

This blog entry is vague. I know that. But I have reporters in my life who like to spread my business like interns (unpaid) newscasters. So I gave just enough to get this off my mind, and just a little so you won't know what the hell I was talking about.


-End Scene-


*sings* I know you think this blog is about you, don't yoooooou




-Toodles

In time of trials...

This song is helping me get through my trials....

-Toodles

It all falls down...

It was the best of times, it was the worse of times. Pray for me saints, I can only conclude that from this point on everything will come crumbling down....


-Tierra

So...

WHAT A WEEK! The devil was so busy! And like a loon I let him deal with me. Thank God for positive people. And reality tv :) Work has been a good deterrent. I know, me appreciative of work? Who would have thunk it lol

In other news my body is breaking down. I can hear the ocean from my left ear. I googled my symptoms and it looks like I have tinnitus. Tinnitus is a permanent internal sound in your ear. Like, it comes and goes but it's permanent with no cure. Weeps. 


So there's your update, a long and more detailed blog will be posted later. I haz sleepiness.



-Toodles

An update on the job front...

Holla, I'm a married woman! It has been two weeks and I can honestly say... nothing has changed lol. We've been together 10 years so, yeah.

But I have other news, I'm a bank teller. No exclamation mark for that though. It's the most boringestic (yes, made up word, deal) job ever. However it is a job that pays dollars as currency so all is well. The company also gave me time for both my wedding and a week for my honeymoon even though I had only work 3 days previously. In this economy that's rare. REALLY rare. So I'm going to act like a grown up, work this job with no complaints. Scratch that, some complaints. I wouldn't be me without whining a little...

Working for the bank doesn't mean I'm completely out the job market. I still looking for jobs in my major, Mental Health. I'm interested in group homes, homeless shelters etc. Of the ones I looked up online, most of the job shifts are for overnights. Not kosher. Especially with Officer working nights too. But I'm still looking.

And that's what's been going on with me. Busy two weeks with two new beginnings. Yay me!



-Toodles

Faking hard to be real...

Everyday I convince myself that I don't care what others say about me. I'mma do me I whisper into my pillow before I start my day. A small part of that is true. I live for God and my close, immediate family. That's it. No one else. But I found myself caring about how my actions affect others. There's people I interact with that I could take or leave them. But I know that they don't feel the same about me that I do about them. So I smile and carry on.